Fuck you, IHOP, you just pwned....on a stick!

ThinkGeek :: Caffeinated Maple-Bacon Lollipops

Although, I suspect, not terribly filling. Mmmm.

parking deck with delusions of granduer

the beach, the way I love it:

Nearly empty.

gazing off down the boardwalk

something seems fishy...

a fellow admirerer of an near empty beach

~marriage~

Sometimes things are far easier and lovely than we make it for ourselves, and we just need to be in the moment.

Don't believe me? Look at the photograph- a picture worth a million words.

Love it.

Oh dear....

I'm Mr. Bucket, toss your balls in my top
I'm Mr. Bucket, out of my mouth they will pop
I'm Mr. Bucket, we're all gonna run
I'm Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun!
I'm Mr. Bucket, balls pop out of my mouth
I'm Mr. Bucket, a ball is what I'm about
I'm Mr. Bucket, we're all gonna run
I'm Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun!

naughty Target! mama want!

Note to self: when gas tank is empty it is always a good idea to bring wallet when leaving house. Phone does not provide gasoline in traffic jams.

sexy-stupid-why did you do that to me?

Oh, I could just post the picture, but then you might miss the list and then therefore miss some crucial element, perhaps because you were trying SO hard to pay attention to the dog.

It's that kind of day, too:

, originally uploaded by Introspectre.

snippets:

emailing my cousin:

But, introspection, yes. It is a state of being, and a good one at that. Gotta open Pandora's box now and then and brush it all away until you get to the hope at the bottom.

A Japanese horse has sex with a Japanese radish and the result has it's bottom wiped and used as flavorings. That is my opinion of wasabi. Thank you. *bows*

confusing piglet

Somehow this piglet looks exactly how I feel.


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meat fail

A hard knocking on the door awoke me out of my pity party for one nap. Stumbling out into the space being blocked by my husband's large form in the doorway, I hear some strange voice ask him if he's "new here?" and I cringed. My husband is generally quite cranky with solicitors, and that's saying something as I myself am rather curt with them already. Instead, I hear my husband laugh politely and say, "Oh no, we've met before, just out on the sidewalk."

The saleswraith relief was tangible in the guys voice as he said, "Oooh ok, then you know I'm The Meat Guy, been delivering around here for six years now..." and getting fired up for his shpiel when my husband just stopped him at the pass with another chuckle and said, "Our family is vegetarian."

*silence*

Really, if you're a meat selling guy, what the hell can you say to that? "Buy some for your mother"? Yech.

He just responded with a return chuckle and said, "Ah. Well, that explains it. I must have remembered last time and not come back since. I see. Have a good day." My husband wished him the same and closed the door, at which point the family's only true vegetarian (my son) said from his room. "AHHH HAAA HAA.......FAIL!"

Groggily, I thought, "Sale Fail," but kept my sleepy thoughts to myself.

The Bunny Whisperer

Oh, hurray, hurrah, I found my super best friend bunny again! I confess to grabbing gerbil food and dashing out the door into the twilight the second my husband looked outside and said, "Hey...I think that's your bunny down there..."

He was right.

Super Best Friend Bunny was hesitant and a bit unsure of me at first, but as I scooted closer and closer and kept dumping little piles of delectables near it, it soon meandered it's little bunny butt back over and

*wait for it*


*wait for it*


LET ME PET IT AGAIN!

And after a bit of munching and crunching it's way through the treats I offered up to it's Goddess Bunny (I'm nearly certain it's a female) self it slowly but surely hopped off into the darkness of night.

Now, anyone that's ever read The Little Prince knows full well that I am not taming a bunny, it is quite obviously taming me.

Still. I confess a certain amount of giddy pride at being so wonderful that a wild bunny would befriend me. It's hard not to be utterly flattered. I mean.... THOSE FLOPPY EARS! And that little floofy bunny butt!

*sighs blissfully*

porn? you may have to pay for it

BBC News - Porn virus publishes web history of victims on the net

My favorite part of the article was at the very end:

"If you find you are getting pop-ups demanding payments to settle copyright infringement lawsuits, ignore them and use a free online anti-malware scanner immediately to check for malware," was his advice.

"And if there's online content that you want to get hold of, get it from a reputable website - if that means paying that's what you have to do."

There are no "Disposable Soldiers".

A friend just brought an article to my attention about military soldiers being dismissed from the Army with disabling injuries but instead of being treated for them, they are being forced into accepting the diagnosis of having Personality Disorder instead, which is a pre-existing condition and therefore, the Army not only owes them no continuing care but instead they often owe the Army instead. They may not be treated for their conditions and some can't find work afterward anyway because the permanent label of having a Personality Disorder makes them ineligible for many kinds of work.

Who has the mental impairments, the soldier or their doctors?

The article tells the story of Chuck Luther, who is by no means alone in this tragedy.

From the article:
"Luther's case is not an isolated incident. In the past three years, The Nation has uncovered more than two dozen cases like his from bases across the country. All the soldiers were examined, deemed physically and psychologically fit, then welcomed into the military. All performed honorably before being wounded during service. None had a documented history of psychological problems. Yet after seeking treatment for their wounds, each soldier was diagnosed with a pre-existing personality disorder, then discharged and denied benefits.

That group includes Sgt. Jose Rivera, whose hands and legs were punctured by grenade shrapnel during his second tour in Iraq. Army doctors said his wounds were caused by personality disorder. Sailor Samantha Stitz fractured her pelvis and two bones in her ankle. Navy doctors cited personality disorder as the cause. Spc. Bonnie Moore developed an inflamed uterus during her service. Army doctors said her profuse vaginal bleeding was caused by personality disorder. Civilian doctors disagreed: they performed emergency surgery to remove her uterus and appendix. After being discharged and denied benefits, Moore and her teenage daughter became homeless."

My own father has always complained of the Army denying him benefits and treatment after receiving injuries sustained while- get this- playing football for the Army. Yeah. Someone tackled him so hard that it cracked his pelvis, dislocated his shoulder, ruptured three lower discs in his back and gave him a concussion. Those were the obvious injuries. The soft tissue damage was extensive and disabling of it's own right. He was discharged honorably, but then the Army, as he puts it, "lost" his medical records, never to be found again. It is now fifty years later, he's still alive, and still being treated like shit by the VA. He's never recovered from those injuries, and he is one bitter, resentful old man, in a lot of pain.

The fact that shit like this still occurs in THIS day and age and they've managed a way to make it even worse for the soldiers and their families... hell no.

Reading about those kids wanting their dad back just tore my heart out, because I know just how they feel.

I met a bunny. We are super bff's now.

The other morning I saw a little bunny hopping through the shrubbery and I went over to flush it out so my son could see it, just for a moment. I figured it would hop away and not... come up and hop about, eventually sniffing my shoe and tasting it. A flip flop can't be that tasty, even if they ARE FitFlops, which make regular flip flops hide their heads in the shame of worthlessness that is their right as they are stupid, dangerous footwear.



I was utterly enamored but had to go run some errands, and when I came home I found it was nearby, so I went to see if it was still feeling friendly, and it was. Who am I to look a gift bunny in the mouth? I ran inside and got some carrots and gerbil food, ran back out and offered it to said adorable bunch of fluff, and eventually it was comfortable enough to LET ME PET IT.

Now I suspect I shall have to attend a 12 step Bunny Love Anonymous program, because I am bonkers for this bunny and keep wandering around trying to find it again.

weirdest bag of kitty litter I've seen:

Seriously- is the frog trying to tell them about how great the kitty litter is or is the frog just fodder for the the fabulous absorbent clumping action of the kitty litter after that orange cat eats it?

Advertising is often inspired by drugs, methinks.

(208) 758-0239

To Whom It May Concern To Suck It And Suck It Mightily,

Do not call me, do not call my son. Do not call and ask me misleading questions from your asinine obviously pro-life agenda coming off as a political group automated time waster. You just pissed me the fuck off. No, I don't think President Obama is forcing taxpayers to pay for abortions any more than I think President Bush was just waiting for those unborn children to turn eighteen so he could send them off to die because he was pissed off for his daddy's sake and some fucking oil. Leave your agenda out of my fucking earhole, or I swear I will crawl through the phone and throttle you. Do you know why? Because I'm normally a nice person and I answered my phone thinking there was a human there, not a bitchy recording of a douchebag trying to get me to answer quickly spoken and misleading questions so their group can say, "Americans are on our side!" I would have been polite to a human, but I wasn't given that option, just blasted with a pile of idiotic pre recorded asswipery in my ear and you, sir, group, bunch of asshole cyborgs, have just made me VERY FUCKING CRANKY.

Fuck YOU.

Quite sincerely,
It's My Fucking Cell Phone You Asshole.

ps) I am aware "political" groups are allowed by law to call cell phones. I am also aware that it's dinner time, and you called my son's phone first, already setting my parental warning antennae to Alert. What YOU are not aware of because your agenda is so important you just couldn't be bothered is that I'm waiting with my cell phone handy for both my doctors (various) and disability lawyers to call, and must keep the phone nearby so I don't have to jump up and injure myself further....and any unknown far off number COULD be important, so I have to answer it anyhow. I have my OWN agenda, thank you not at all. Please go fuck yourselves.

goverment b0rk3d fail versus moi

First real decision from Social Security came in the mail yesterday, and although it was a denial (normal in the first stage) it didn't bother me, I was just glad the first stage is considered done and we can move on.

What I did find irritating was the fact that of the bazillion doctors offices I've visited, the decision to deny my claim was based WITHOUT any information whatsoever from the one office that has had the most interaction and information about my condition. On the bright side, once that is corrected, perhaps the decision will be in my favor. I can't help but wonder if they HAD that information perhaps it would have already been decided in my favor.

All in all, the thing that I took away from the latest pile of paperwork was this bit of hilarity on the second page:

"Medical evidence shows that you do have some joint and muscle damage. You also have some mental problems."

It goes on after that, but even with the flu-like fever I'm running right now, I couldn't help but crack the fuck up....because I also have some mental problems.


Just saying... you know, considering the amount of shit that is physically wrong with me, if I was awarded disability for "mental problems" I wouldn't even be surprised anymore. I really wouldn't.

How your Wii can save you from pain now and later

A friend asked me what I thought was good to get for a Wii- she and her husband have just bought one but don't want to waste money on stuff that isn't really going to help them get it shape. She knows how much I reply on mine for physical therapy, so she asked me, and here was my reply:



Don't know what you have so far, but the Wii balance board is a must. Truly.

Also, Wii Fit Plus (just the new version of Wii Fit, but has more features, more fun, some easier to maneuver routines, etc).

The Wii controllers have little add on thingies called Wii Motion Plus, and are well worth it. They make the controllers far more receptive for the sensor, so even small movements will register where without them I'd have to shake the controller sometimes, just waving it around to get the motion sensor to figure out where it was. No biggie if you don't buy them but useful to have.

I highly recommend rechargeable batteries. Now, I've seen controllers that have rechargeables in them and can actually be set in their own stands to recharge- we don't have them but if you'll be using it much those would be awesome. I hate replacing the batteries, it can be a pain with the covers on them, etc.

I don't think the Wii balance board comes with the silicone cover (ours is blue) but I can't imagine not using it- it helps make it non slip. Kind of important, in my book.

We've got a few games for working out, so it really depends what kind of exercise you want and for who, what age group, what fitness level, etc.
Wii Sports resort can be fun, definitely something to get you up and about but it's not going to be a serious workout- but it's still way more action than Legends of Zelda, you get it? There's nothing particularly aerobics in it that I can think of (I've rarely ever used it so I'm going on memory watching my son play it) but it's standing, moving around, not just sitting and blowing stuff up.
Wii Music can be a good work out for the arms, surprisingly, and fun to play with other people. I like the handbells as I used to be in handbell choir. *grins*
I have yet to try any of the name ones, celebrity work out, whatsherface ones so I can't advice you there. But go through Amazon and read people's reviews- they tend to get descriptive and are generally pretty accurate.

I know at some point Wii came out with something that was for working out and had something that strapped the controllers to your legs for more accurate readings for running, etc. Those seem well worth the money, although we haven't gotten them yet. Otherwise any jogging games you have to stuff the controller in your pocket or waistband... uh, not so comfy.
There you have it. My Wii workout review, whether you wanted it or not.

Personally, I think the Wii Fit Balance Board is a gift from heaven, straight up. For anyone trying to work on core muscle strength, there's nothing to compare it to. There are better work outs, yes, but to get TRUE core muscle strength you have to have both sides of your body equally strong, equally flexible, and few people achieve that.

We're all guilty of favoring one leg to kick or one arm to slouch over and rest our chin on our hand. We cross our legs, we lean to one side, even sitting on a couch that isn't directly facing the TV and spending a time every day leaning slightly one direction or another will cause imbalances in the body, and few people every worry about it, much less think about it.

Because of the physical problems I have, it is something I must CONSTANTLY think about, every moment, even sleeping- whenever I wake up I have to reposition myself if I'm out of alignment.

For most people it may never cause an issue at all- but there's a lot of us with back pains, neck pains, sciatica, tennis elbow, what have you, and many conditions can be helped if not cured by getting the body to realign. It's not easy work. It takes a lot of focus. For some, the pain will become great enough to make it important. Even if you don't get to a state of pain, think of protecting yourself from a lot of the pains of old age... how many old people favor one side, lean to one side, limp on one side.....

Body symmetry is invaluable, as is strong core muscular strength.

Laverne and Shirley weren't just making shit up?

A friend just clued me in: after all this time I finally know what schlemiel and schlimazel mean! Schlemiel: an inept clumsy person; a bungler; a dolt; schlimazel: a chronically unlucky person.

Silence in golden

An F-22 Raptor from Langley AFB pulls some heavy vapor over NAS Oceana, originally uploaded by mikelynaugh.

The jets are magnificent, amazing to watch, mind blowing to see them pulling off intricate maneuvers, but just for a moment, imagine this flying over your house.

Then imagine hundreds of them over the course of a week, or, if you're on rotation (where the jets take off and land while performing touch and go landing maneuvers for landing on the carriers while at sea) imagine them flying over your house every two to three minutes for hours on end, early in the morning, late at night...

For someone prone to panic attacks and who has an exaggerated startle reflex, moving this close to astounding machinery like this was clearly Not A Good Plan.

I will cherish the silence when we move away, away, away.

The Sourtoe Cocktail

Personally, I have never once wanted to touch a glass of tequila, nor even kiss my ex boyfriend after he'd been drinking it. Liquor can be nasty enough without a creepy bug in it. And yet somehow I find it oddly touching that people in the The Sourtoe Cocktail Club have been encouraged by other humans who have donated toes, THEIR OWN TOES, to this bizarre cause.

My two (three?) favorites:

"...toes five and six were donated by a Yukon old-timer in return for free drinks for his nurses,"

and

"...toe eight arrived in a jar of alcohol with the message 'Don't wear open toed sandals while mowing the lawn.'"

Humans can be so oddly sentimental about the strangest of things, can't they? But, having given it some more thought, what the hell would I do with MY toe if it were cut off and simply could not be reconnected? I wouldn't want to keep it. I would wish it could at least have gone to some use, much like I am an organ donor for that reason. So... why NOT send it to a bunch of really fucking weird people in Canada?

Bottoms up, you eccentric folk.

Transient hallucinations are not something I have experienced with my migraine medicine before- perhaps today will continue to be an interesting day of firsts.

Insidious Worm Makes Unauthorized Purchases When Computer User Is Drunk

Worms in your glove compartment?! Oh dear, oh dear.

it flies? oh shit...