sadist suit season

It's rather late in the season to be shopping for a swim suit, apparently. All the places I've looked are rather scoured, as if people are snapping them up left and right and maybe I live too close to the beach, perhaps it has that effect on people... but still.

I'm sullen. Cranky. Irritated.

I want a cute bathing suit.

It can't be any old bathing suit, lordy no. I have fashion styles, tastes to account for. Also, I have an issue with any strap that goes over my neck- besides the dorky tan line it causes, for me personally it causes severe pain. It doesn't seem to matter if it's sort of loose or not, I simply cannot wear a halter style ANYTHING, it just messes my neck up way too much.

That narrows down the playing field quite a bit.

So far the only suits I've found that made me squeal for joy were expensive, crazy expensive, more money than I care to blow on a bathing suit that may or may not fit me next year.

Like this one:


Holy freaking cow is it cute! The stupid neck strap is detachable. Ruffled skirt, to die for. Big fat bow- loving it. Do I want to spend close to $200 on it? Hell no.

Would I mind if it fell from the sky, manna suit from heaven? Not at all.

Maybe I'm cheap. Maybe my taste in suits is not. As I perused various stores websites I saw Juicy Couture, Ralph Lauren, damn, damn you labels! And Betsey Johnson, honey, you're killing me with the bathing suits. (The one posted above, also Betsey Johnson)

Right now the current winner is this cute as hell little number but really, $160 for a bathing suit? I would have to fuss about sitting on the edge of the pool, lest it snag the material, and I'm just not that kind of girl. I want to play, not fuss about if I've washed it in cold water and let it drip dry, or if I should pull my towel over so I can let my legs dangle in the pool while playing catch with my son but not risk ruining my silly expensive suit.

The ridiculous part is that all of this is so I can go out in the summer and look like a normal human, but really, I burn like it's going out of style, and I seem to be horribly allergic to every sunscreen out there, minus my beloved Burt's Bees:


Small bummer, it makes me look even whiter when I put it on, and it kind of weirdly crumbles if you try to put it on thick... beggars can't be whiners, really. That and the make up from bareMinerals.


That's a hell of a ad line, isn't it? I can SLEEP in it? Sweeeet. It took me a long time to find it, too, reason being the make up is freaking expensive...

Seeing a trend? Me, too.

*sigh*

Eventually I will have to give up my ideals of being cheap. (laughs) Growing up in a blue collar family makes me still see expensive things as ridiculous, although I am slowly coming to realize that some things are in fact worth the money you pay for them. Like my floofy expensive and utterly fabulous make up.

If I spend a moment and fantasize about the pile of bikinis that I currently have (all have damn halter straps and torture me to wear) instead being replaced by a pile of insanely gorgeous and expensive, yes, new swim suits... well, it makes me a bit giddy, really. Like maybe I just want to strip down, put on some beautiful bathing suit and dash outside to sit in the shade with a big floppy hat, but DAMN will I look GOOD doing it!!!

For now, I dream.